How loath we are to walk with God in the fire. How we secretly cherish the hope that the Divine goal may be reached by some other and easier path than that which lies through the furnace of fierce test. And yet there is no alternative for those who would enter into deepest union with the Eternal. 'Tis midst the scorching flame that life mounts to its throne in God.Feel like you're stuck in the fire? Is life so difficult that the daily course of things feels like a fire to your soul? The last four months has been that way around here. There has been a shadow of cataclysmic effect on our church and there has been the possibility that Alan might lose his job- or if he wanted to keep it - would have to transfer. God had just this past year and a half given us the green light to stay here, work in a job Alan loves, and minister in our church. Every day of these past months has been an exercise in faith, culminating in the past week of... well... stress almost beyond what we could handle. The impact of decisions that were made this past week would truly have altered every area of our lives.
My dear husband preached a message yesterday that summed this trial up completely. We had a hope... we desired to minister and be used by God here, and to see our church move on with the plans that had been made for God's glory. Then our hope was defferred and our hearts were sick... we began to see that everything that had been our course may be completely changed. The situation was desperate, bleak, and completely unsurpassable... unless God... Then finally, yesterday morning we had official news that God had once again delivered our church and our family out of a completely desolate situation. Now we are like them that dream... with four months of living in the fire, once God sets you free it is difficult to believe it really happened. You feel like you are dreaming. ("When the LORD turned again the captivity of Zion, we were like them that dream." Ps 126:1)
In the dark room of trial God brings out the beauty of His own nature, fixing the heart in true devotion upon Himself. Every natural challenge to His sovereignty is dissolved, and the image of Christ alone remains to tell of life's true relationship.All that I can say is, "I will sing unto the Lord for He hath triumphed gloriously..." I am sure that our struggles are not over, in fact, I am sure there will be more. Yet, I know once again that God has proven Himself faithful. During these past few months, God brought me to the place where I knew that there was absolutely NOTHING I could do to change the circumstances. There was nothing - besides WAITING - on Him that was assigned to me. I had to trust and rest that He would take care of everything. Why is trusting, resting, and waiting so difficult for us?
His prescence shall lighten thy hours of loneliness; His beauty shall transform the frowning face of thy lot; His heart whispers shall heal thy wounds. Gethsemane and Golgotha shall lead thee to Easter's radiant morn. The things that threaten to crush thee shall add to the lustre of thy crown. ~ E. BoultonSo today, I am still like them that dream. Yet, I know that God is faithful not only to deliver me, but also His church. I know that He carried us through this fire and safely brought us to the other side. He is my hope and salvation!
(Selections in red were from the devotional "Drops from the Honeycomb" for the day that God sent His deliverance from this trial.)